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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26006845">The Upsides</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/theresonatinglight/pseuds/theresonatinglight'>theresonatinglight</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, X-Men - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Alternate Universe - Mutants, Alternate Universe - X-Men Fusion, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Flashbacks, HEA, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Past Child Abuse, Past Manipulative Snoke, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Telepath Ben, Telepath Rey, Telepathy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:21:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,523</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26006845</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/theresonatinglight/pseuds/theresonatinglight</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><em>Blinding light. An acrid taste in her mouth. Voices screaming – always screaming.</em> </p><p>Rey doesn’t remember when she was taken to the mutant testing facility; she just knows that everything is too loud, and she doesn’t have control over her own powers.</p><p>Ben has just defected from the Brotherhood and is looking to redeem himself in the eyes of the X-Men. After rescuing Rey, he knows what he has to do. He takes it upon himself to use his telepathy to help her regain control over her mind and her life.</p><p>An X-Men Reylo AU</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Let's Go to the Movies - Reylo Readers &amp; Writers Prompt Exchange</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Upsides</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/geekymoviemom/gifts">geekymoviemom</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wrote this fic as an extra treat for geekymoviemom for the Reylo Readers &amp; Writers Movie Exchange 2020! I was so inspired by her prompt, Reylo in the X-Men universe, that I just had to write this. X-Men is another of my favorite movie universes, so I’m very glad for the opportunity to play around in it for a bit. &lt;3</p><p>The title comes from one of my favorite bands: The Wonder Years. It’s from their song Washington Square Park; “I’m looking for the upsides to these panic attack nights.” A quote from the lead singer, Dan Campbell, about this song really resonated with me and cemented this song as the anthem for this fic: “This is a song about standing up against your own anxiety and depression. You can’t let your own thoughts keep you buried.” I think this is what both Rey and Ben confront in their fic; they have to let themselves out of their own heads and stand up to their trauma.</p><p>Please mind the tags, and enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Blinding light. An acrid taste in her mouth. Voices screaming – always screaming. </em>
</p><p>The pain sears through to her soul. It’s all <em>too much</em>. She can’t concentrate for more than a few seconds on her surroundings before another wave of thoughts rush in and disrupt her reality. The inside of her cell is grey and cold; barely more than a cage. This is how Rey spends her waking hours: constant, disorienting noise stinging her mind, like forceps pulling at her brain.</p><p>There are brief moments of clarity; glimpses of a former life she barely remembers.</p><p>-<em>flash-</em></p><p>Her parents leave her in a foreign city, their dark grey car accelerating away from her. She’s so young and she doesn’t even remember their faces, and yet the car driving away is crystal clear in her mind’s eye. If only she could read the license plate.</p><p>-<em>flash-</em></p><p>She hides in a closet at her first foster family’s house, crying silently. She’s <em>terrified </em>of what they’ll do when they see the mess she’s created in the kitchen. She didn’t mean to break the dishes – she really didn’t – they just started hovering and then falling too too too fast and she couldn’t catch them. It’s not her fault, <em>it’s not her fault.</em></p><p>--</p><p>She’s back in the present, the memories subsiding for a moment. She cradles her head in her hands, shaking as the pain of the past and the present collide. Why did they leave her? Why does everyone always leave her?</p><p>-<em>flash-</em></p><p>Her second foster mother <em>begs </em>Rey to read her foster father’s thoughts. It takes a while to convince her, but Rey nervously describes the scene playing through his mind. A naked young woman on her knees, the inside of a poorly-lit motel room. And all of a sudden, Rey’s foster mother’s shrill screams interrupt her. But she’s not mad at her husband, no – she’s mad at <em>Rey</em>.</p><p>-<em>flash-</em></p><p>When her foster father comes home, he roars at her. How dare she expose his secret? How dare she disrespect him like that? He takes Rey by the arm and <em>drags </em>her to the basement. She doesn’t want to go. <em>Please please please please. </em>But he doesn’t stop; his fist shakes with rage in front of her face and then rises to strike her. She sobs as it hits, her small frame trembling and bruising, unable to defend herself. When he’s finally had enough, he puts his face up close to hers, malice radiating from his eyes. He threatens far worse if she <em>ever </em>missteps again. “No one would miss you, little bitch,” he growls, spittle flying in her face. “No one would even notice if you fucking disappeared.”</p><p>--</p><p>There’s something going on outside of her cell. In the noise, Rey picks out cries of distress, but also hopeful pleas. She’s too jaded to hope along with them. This isn’t the first time she’s heard those murmurs of rescue. It’s happened a few times – pro-mutant groups or mutant vigilantes breaking in and freeing whomever they can. Usually, a few of the test subjects get away. The lucky ones. But never her.</p><p>-<em>flash-</em></p><p>After the incident, she’s so, so good. Her bruises heal slowly, but she’s careful to cover them so she doesn’t get her foster father in more trouble. She can’t even hear the voices in her head anymore. But then one day, strange men come into the house during dinner and take her away. She begs her foster family for help – to stop them, to do <em>something </em>– but they just… <em>let the men take her. </em></p><p>-<em>flash-</em></p><p>She’s in a bright room. The machine hooked up to her arm beeps in time with her heart. Men in white coats stand over her, a cold gleam in their eyes. One of them talks into a recording device. <em>Test subject eighteen awake at oh-nine-hundred hours.</em> She rips the needle out of her arm and <em>runs.</em> She doesn’t get very far before a man picks her up and injects something into her shoulder.</p><p>
  <em>-flash-</em>
</p><p>She’s in the bright room again. This time, they’ve strapped her to the chair. She squirms, but nothing she does even loosens the restraints. The men in the white coats are back. <em>Test subject eighteen awake at oh-ten-hundred hours. Day thirty five of mutation reactivation attempts.</em> They jab her with a metal tool, and every time it touches her skin, it sends an excruciating shock rippling through her body. She wants to flinch away, but the straps don’t allow her to curl up into herself. So she just screams, instead.</p><p>--</p><p>She’s lost track of how long she’s been here, in this hellhole. A few years? A decade? She’s not sure; all she knows is that it feels like eternity. The mutants in neighboring cells are getting louder, their thoughts buzzing with excitement as they dare to believe that maybe – just maybe – the rescuers will come for them. Rey feels the hope bubbling up inside her, too. She savors the feeling, just for a second, before squashing it back down. <em>Stupid girl, you’ll never make it out of here alive.</em></p><p>--</p><p>Ben leads a team of X-Men down the hallways of the mutant testing facility. This is his first time leading a mission after defecting from Snoke’s Brotherhood; his one chance to prove himself. He has to be <em>perfect.</em> He’s not blind; he sees the way the others look at him with scrutiny. Poe, Finn, even his own mother. Poe had shot him a hard glare before they split up at the entrance, Poe’s team heading to confront the scientists who have been performing illegal experiments on mutants, and Ben’s team responsible for freeing the captured mutants.</p><p>Ben walks briskly down the corridor, opening locks with his mind, the internal workings clicking as he manipulates them. His stomach turns at just how many cells there are – each containing a mutant who has been the subject of brutal and inhumane experimentation. There must be… fifteen? Twenty? He shakes off his disgust, refocusing his attention on the rescue effort. The others following behind him, entering the cells and helping the captives to the facility exit. Some are eager to leave, others need convincing and reassurance that the X-men are truly coming to their rescue. After years of abuse, their wariness is understandable.</p><p>When he gets to the last cell, he puts two fingers to his temple, willing the door to open. But it doesn’t budge. He reaches out with his mind, feeling his way around the small room, making his way to its inhabitant. When he reaches her, his mind is suddenly flooded with the blaring of dozens of different voices and uncontrollable static. He digs deeper and under all of it, finds <em>her.</em></p><p><em>A telepath,</em> he thinks. <em>It’s someone like me.</em></p><p>He screams at his teammates to stay back and help the others as he attacks the door with brute force. He rams his shoulder into the door, combining his powers with physical strength and throwing everything he has into freeing this last captive. Finally, after several minutes of pounding on the door, the lock breaks and the door swings open.</p><p>In the corner cowers a slim woman, curled in on herself defensively, holding her head in her hands. When he enters the cell, her head snaps up, and she looks at him with wide hazel eyes. He can tell that she’s <em>terrified </em>without even looking into her head, which races with scrambled, flashing, too-sharp thoughts.</p><p>He slowly approaches her, crouching and kneeling in front of her so as to make his large frame seem less imposing. “May I?” he asks, sending his intentions as loudly as he can.</p><p>Through the cacophony, he hears her response: <em>please.</em></p><p>Ben puts a hand to her head, concentrating on closing doors in her mind; containing the parts of her that are overflowing and radiating pain. He listens carefully as her thoughts grow quiet and calm.</p><p><em>Rey,</em> he hears her project. <em>My name’s Rey.</em></p><p>“I’m Ben,” he replies. “Ben Solo.”</p><p>He helps Rey to her feet, but she’s trembling too much to stand on her own. She takes one lurching step toward the door and stumbles, leaning heavily on him for support. Every second spent in the facility poses a danger to both of their lives; he can hear Poe’s urgent, projected orders to <em>hurry.</em> </p><p>Ben carefully picks Rey up and carries her out of the cell. He runs toward the X-Jet as fast as he can with her in his arms, pushing debris aside and closely monitoring the thoughts of the remaining facility scientists, who have managed to activate the security system. He lets out a scream as he channels all of his mental strength into keeping the double doors at the entrance open just long enough to escape. They’re the last ones to the plane, and when they arrive, Poe gives a begrudging nod of respect in his direction. After Ben straps Rey into a seat next to him, he finally breathes a sigh of relief. A weight feels like it’s been lifted off his chest. She’s safe. They’re <em>all </em>safe. And he did it – he led his first mission and <em>succeeded</em>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! If you liked it, please feel free to leave kudos &amp; comments!</p><p>You can find me on Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/ellex66">@ellex66</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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